Hello and blessed holidays, my dear readers! This season is always a little difficult for me, because I have to juggle years of food-related issues with my love of food.
I seriously love food, but I have also been very critical of my own body and how it reacts to food–and my previous hatred of the gym/exercise. But back in college (undergrad banana slug, woot woot) I started going to the campus gym with my friend Michaela, and started to see what my body could look like and how my energy levels changed. I moved back to my parent’s house for my gap year before grad school, got my first Fitbit, and started going to my parent’s gym more often. This, combined with my physically demanding retail jobs, gave me a little more to work with to get into the shape I thought I needed to be.
Emphasis on thought.
The truth is, we don’t need to look a certain way to be happy. If it makes you happy, go for it! After living on my own for a while, I have unlearned quite a few things I had previously internalized. I won’t stand in the way of anyone else’s personal beliefs on eating habits–holidays or no.
I don’t look the same way I did when I walked to and from grad school everyday, back when I lived within a mile’s walking distance of the campus where I sought instruction and employment. I fit into my skinny jeans; I ate pizza and sushi for snacks; I could justify that Jamba Juice craving.
I love my new job. I love what I do and why I do it, and I love that there’s room for growth and I’m starting to write for them (more on that later!), but I sit a lot. I have to find the time to go on a morning run or walk, and I’ve started playing RingFit Adventure on Nintendo Switch (seriously, that game is a workout! PM me if you want to be Switch friends!).
But those are my choices. I’ve also gone keto–this means no carbs, grains, fruits, or below ground veggies. This can be especially hard during the holidays, when people make pies and roasted potatoes and yams and jellies. I’ve only been doing keto for a handful of months, but I’m already starting to feel a major difference in how I interact with food.
Sure I still get cravings, and yes that rice/bread/pie/potato smells amazing. That’s life. Things smell amazing.
But I’m learning to handle it. I’ve upgraded my Fitbit game to the Versa 2 smartwatch and make sure I walk every hour.
All this to say my relationship with the holidays–the hard to handle season that I thought was a blip in my annual radar–had less to do with the holidays themselves and more to do with my relationship with self love. So yes, the title of this post is a tad misleading, but I want to focus on the positive things going into 2020. I want to make more time for runs and reading and gaming. I want to find new ways to enjoy the keto diet without giving rice or bread the side-eye.
But most of all, readers, I want you to enjoy the last week or so of this year. The holidays will always be stressful for a multitude of reasons, some unique and some universal, but if you take them one breath at a time, I promise you will make it through.
Just remember: no one can force you to change who you are. People only have power over you if you give it to them. Confidence and self love, both within and without the holiday season, are achieved one moment at a time.
I believe in you, and think you are beautiful.
Have a blessed holiday season and a wonderful start to the new decade!
See you all in 2020.
R E Powell 
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